so recently i applied for the OIAP thing for guilin resort, even though i wasnt interested at first coz the thought of leaving for 6 months was scary at first coz i would be able to see my frens and the thought of leaving everything behind for 6 months was bad enough coz i would not be able to do like a heck load of things like ake'08, and also more importantly not being able to go to church when i just joined, i would definitely miss church frens... definitely, no doubt about it. Being able to go is definitely an honor also will be fruitful and exciting experience for me, i can also prove alot of people wrong in a way that a person like me with such a lousy gpa can still make it for a overseas attachment and that i still have hope even though i'm not really doing well in my studies. However i'm definitely worried that i might fail a module. and i am really dammmmm worried because i ahve made it this far and i dun wanna throw it all away. i'm seriously worried sick. But if all goes well and i'm there for good, well 6months, i will definitely miss all my frens over here and trust me when i say that i really mean it. But hey! on the bright side, i'll be able to get a psp for going to china haha. thats quite cool eh. hopefully theres wireless there if not arh, no msn sure die one.... but ya wish me luck!! =D
9:27 PM
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its my 100th post, cool eh technically things that has been happening has happened and past, but then there are still current matters that hasnt been solved yet. Sometimes when i think about it it just makes me wonder. Sometimes it just hurts so much, it just hurts and i feel like dying.But then again that really isnt the solution to the problem. When things happens, it happens soo quickly that one doesnt have the time to react to it and then when the situation has past, u think back and wonder wad you could've done to salvage the situation instead of looking forward to see wad u should do next time to avoid it. Then again, u'd be wondering if there really is a solution, thinking wad is the most desirable route that u should take. Most of the time the most desirable ain't the right one.

I could say there have been alot of things that has happened recently, and i honestly think, i'm too inexperienced to even try and solve these problems, then again i wanna do everything in my ability to try and help out. But concurrently, things have also been happening to me also and how can i try to help people when i cant even help myself? It just seems so hard to help myself, and much easier to help others. When i look at it, i really dunno wad to do, or wad i should do that will seem best for my future. The future just seems so blur to me right now
12:10 AM
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