haiz... results released... once again i've succeeded in disappointing myself, and disappointing others around who expect better from me.. somehow i feel i've never failed to do this everytime...

no doubt my results were like shit..."how to go singapore U!!"and "wah! ur results no A!! how can like that!!" thats wad my mom told me when she saw my results..always discouraging, never encouraging...something which i feel i need alot from my family... expecting to get a beating from my mom soon? just like old times... i guess i would dare to say, from this experience, that this is wad anyone should expect from guys from so-called "good" schools, family is always competitive, wanting to stay on top, wanting their children to do something which they themselves cant by all means... even though i managed to skip death coz will be going out soon, but death is inevitable.. how long can i run? luckily i bought all those things from IT fair BEFORE my results haha..

even though my friends did "badly" but the pressure is always there... to stay competitive... sometimes i wonder why i entered business... i myself know that i can study, but everytime i want to, i cant, i'm always too lazy... even though i realise the urgency of the situation, i feel i dun need to do anything... this may pose as a minor problem to most because they can overcome it using wadever means necessary but i dun know y i cant? something which i've been thinking since i was primary 4 or so...everytime people tell me, "do better next sem", "study harder arh.." i keep finding that i cant... i dunno y!! i'm so helpless...maybe thats wad i am, helpless.. or hopeless rather...
10:51 AM
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